Serial Starter ~ #52essays2017

I am a Serial Starter.  I tend to start project after project, leaving a trail of incompletion like litter in my wake.  On public radio today, the new "regime" change was being discussed.  Obama was praised for having cabinet appointments that were truly experts in their field, coming from academia and corporate America rather than politics.  But the point was made:  One can know all the facts about a country or situation, but if the person does not have bold vision, the appointment is or was still a bad match.  

I have an oversupply of Bold Vision.  I heard once that FDR was a true Renaissance man in that he knew enough about any subject to make his guest comfortable chatting about their interests, whatever it may be, for at least a few minutes.  I always aspire to that level.  In that fashion I am enthralled with how to do anything.  Thus I pick up any craft long enough to figure it out, then leave the project unfinished in my living room, moving on to the next.  I start project after project, and I always have to do it with the proper tools, so I collect those too.

There are never enough hours in the day to complete all my grand aspirations.  These have included:  aforementioned craft kits and projects, Toastmasters (working towards my Competent Communicator award), taxes, insurance claims, job listings regarding my freelance career, going back to school. 

So what holds me back?  Firstly, fear.  The fear of what will happen if I truly give a situation my all, and it's still not good enough.  I am a born Virgo and a perfectionist.  I can complete a craft, throw away the pattern, and no one will know the flaws in the project, but I will.  I have to let go of my expectations and enjoy the process of learning and personal growth. 

Secondly, time management.  I hold many roles, and have no partner with which to share household duties.  My career is my own to make as a freelancer, which means I have two jobs:  working, and looking for work, simultaneously.  I have no problem setting priorities but am frequently overly ambitious.  I make lists, relish in crossing them off task by task.  Since I can't add more hours to my day, I have to give myself more credit for the things that are completed.

Thirdly, accountability.  I live alone and work on a freelance basis.  Unless I am actually at work, very little of my life is observed by anyone.  My home can be well organized but have way too much stuff, as I am the only one who has to view it.  And if I don't talk about my hobbies, no one knows of them.  So I am calling on myself for accountability, and it doesn't even have to be to another person.  I use my blog to report to the world what I'm up to, even if no one's reading it. 

In 2017 I have but one resolution:  to finish things; just do it, put it away and put it behind me.  I'm starting this by completing my Competent Communicator, or CC, in Toastmasters, and by blogging regularly.  I'm no longer putting off exercising but rather sucking it up and getting it over with.  Taking my new resolve to follow through as a simple mantra will make this my year.